Ozzy has been lost for over 20 years.
Friday, April 24, 2015
The Thirty-Fifth Step
Though the Damn Yankees were tagged as a supergroup, most people wouldn't regard them as a "super" group. It's a good idea to check for the "Made in Japan" quality stamp on vintage electronics. The hazelnut coffee at Panera Bread tastes freshest at 4:01 p.m. There is something very "private women's college" about Edie Brickell & New Bohemians' "What I Am." I would pay good money to watch Stephen Curry launch three-pointers in practice. John Belushi, Eddie Murphy, Phil Hartman and Chris Farley are the funny faces on my Mount Rushmore of "Saturday Night Live." "Like Vin Diesel, I'm back with a quick sequel" was the original introduction to this piece. Boxing would greatly benefit if the guy from Philly were to defeat the fighter from Ukraine in Saturday's championship bout. If you have to create an introduction to a YouTube video admonishing people who pointed out the filthiness of your kitchen, it might be time to invest in scouring powder and a sponge. Once again, I'm viewing a late-night replay of the Cleveland Cavaliers and Boston Celtics playoff matchup. My brother can now boast about how his just-acquired Samsung Galaxy 4 tablet is better than my humble HP Stream 4 one. This article amounts to nothing more than one of my earlier "German" submissions sans the foreign language translations. "Sans" might be a word used by pretentious sorts. Because I forgot to buy an extension cord earlier today, I'm perched at the nearest wall outlet whilst pounding the keys. "Whilst" might be another word used by pretentious sorts. I hope that Walgreens will have nary a problem with putting an "Amos For Prez" designation on a shirt for me. "Nary" might be yet another word used by pretentious sorts. I should probably start walking to tomorrow night's Freedom Hawk/Wet Boys/Real Tears show at Pancho N Luigi's in Norfolk. Being a teetotaler notwithstanding, I found the contents of Mindy's glass of sangria to be sensuously appealing. "Teetotaler," "notwithstanding" and "sensuously" might be additional examples of words used by pretentious sorts. The Hives' "Hate To Say I Told You So" is my runner- up choice for a song to best represent the 2000s. Would you care to join me in "Liking" the Golden Corral Rolls page on Facebook? Other than selected knowledge in the areas of music, sports and food, my mind is mostly a hollow container. If I had received a scholarship to study at Oxford, I would not have majored in commas. Low and behold, there is now a corrected polarity version of XTC's Skylarking available at finer record shoppes! "Polarity" and "shoppes" might be the final citations of words possibly used by pretentious sorts. "I know that's right!" is the more demonstrative daughter of "I know, right?" and the equally excitable grandchild of "Right on!" The time at present is 3:14 a.m. I've never picked up an issue of SPLASH magazine and thought, "Wow, what a great article on that band!" I'm not above using past status updates on Facebook for filler sentences in blog posts. My aunt was a Miller & Rhoads Scholar. Hey, there's another one! Linda Cohn is the Kim Gordon of ESPN. Yet again! When I'm finished here, the empty squares of Suffolk News Herald's crossword puzzle will receive ink stains from a leaky State Farm pen. No hall of fame is complete without Pete Rose. The last one from Facebook, I promise. Don't think you can watch Golden State Warriors games incognito with that head of hair, Cornel West! Has anyone seen Richie around?
If I can find the proper pair of Pumas, The Rung will return to the original style and regain its footing.
Wednesday, April 22, 2015
The Thirty-Fourth Step
In case you're keeping score at home or on a friend's couch, my last post on this blog was made nearly ten months ago. 98% of the English-speaking population spells "judgment" with more than one "E." The tablet I'm using wanted to change "goddamn" into "Goldman." If you can't name all 900 members of the group, please refrain from wearing a Wu-Tang Clan shirt. I saw a recent picture of Carly Simon that somewhat resembled my friend's attractive mother. The upcoming contest in the squared circle featuring a black gentleman and a Filipino is at least five years too late. Most stand-up comedians need to sit the hell down. I just enjoyed one final appetizer feast at Applebee's served by the already-missed Laura Lyon. Per the debacle of their concert on Jimmy Kimmel's late-night gab fest, I won't be seeing Van Ellen on the current tour. Why does this handheld device go into ALL-CAPS mode at the beginning of a new line? GREAT CAESAR'S GHOST, THAT'S A LOT OF BACON ON ONE PIZZA! The power chord's inventor should've been among the initial classes of his genre's hall of fame. Thanks to Hillary Clinton's campaign logo, I now know the direction to the nearest hospital. Though I'm an Orioles backer, I'd proudly sport a "Vin Scully Is My Homeboy" tee. To this day, I still can't name a second Modern English song. Britt McHenry's college degree apparently wasn't in understanding where to park a vehicle. Two Saturdays ago, I hosted a lunch party and served my guests a bunch of frozen food. In the words of Gene Loves Jezebel: "BURY YOUR HEAD! BURY YOUR HEAD! BURY YOUR HEAD!" There are twelve more sentences left in this paragraph. I'm about to begin reading a 256- page autobiography from a Suffolk author. Band Of Horses' "The Funeral" is one of the few musical compositions I'd cite to represent the 2000s. When watching a rebroadcast of an NBA playoff game, the result is usually the same. I love most nurses. Dice With Buddies has the addictive pull of casino gambling sans the use of actual currency. This exercise may or may not lead to more in-depth articles in the near future. The following descriptions were once made about Newport News: It sucks to get there, it sucks when you're there and it sucks to leave. After typing "sucks," "dick" came up as a suggestion. It sucks that Peter Frampton will be on the same bill as Cheap Trick in Newport News come August. "Sucks" should always follow "Peter Frampton." The battery life has decreased to less than 6%. My sleeping patterns are often irregular.
I'm losing my balance, thus it's time to jump off. Until the next ascent...
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